Just a Few Thoughts on Dave's Story
I do not have the text in front of me, so I cannot delve into specifics. I can say the language Patterson discovers to describe the different moments of dis-illusionment is the best the story has to offer.
There is, I think, a certain constructed uneasiness with language, the author seems searching, though not terribly skillfully, for words and then abandoning the search in favor of an expression that (seems to) convey the general idea. It strikes me that the author has written quite deliberately after the manner of an educated and literally sensitive fellow with an Old Pro hangover and better things to worry about.
As far as form and style, then, the piece is is an impressive achievement.
I am anxious to know more about the narrator -a first reading gives me the impression of a narrator who is at once telling too much and too little of himself.
Regarding the other characters, with the exception of Kyle "Killer" Kovacs: the author might have found a way around them, entirely, unless, of course, there are other of his stories in which the erstwhile subordinates play more prominent roles.
Are there other stories to be told? I certainly hope so. Reading Mr. Patterson's latest effort has made me want to read more of his work, has made me long for more words from him.